Sacrifice
by Eilam Wordsmith
Summary: In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice. This is the life of a Grey Warden, the oath kept until your 40th year. That time has ended, and who shall remember?


Mother's eyes are distant now; always she looks toward Orzammar, to the Deep Roads. On shadowy days, and in the dark, her eyes glow grey like moonstone. The Calling pulls more strongly every day, and yet she resists. She resists for my sake.

She is a woman of many battles, my mother. Even now, the way she walks and watches is the way of a warrior. She misses nothing, and her steps are light, used to the heavier weight of armor. I have been told many times of her great deeds, of her sacrifices for Ferelden, but I need no reminder.

Once, she may have been free. Once, she had much. A family that loved her, deprived as they were in the alienage. A people that embraced her, no matter how she was looked down upon by others as second-class, an elf. Once, despite the difficulties, her life was entirely her own.

So much was ripped away from her. Her family, her home, was lost in one blood-soaked day. And then there was only the Wardens to take her in. In exchange, she gave her life; dedication to fighting the Darkspawn and abilities that would cut what time she had to live in half. My mother was not yet twenty when she pledged to end her life at forty. For that is the oath Grey Wardens must take. When the taint in them grows too great, they feel the Calling in their soul and travel the Deep Roads, killing whatever Darkspawn they may in their last great sacrifice.

Onto this burden, another was added. Myself.

Grey Wardens do not marry. They do not bear children. It is not forbidden, and why should it be? Common sense would dictate that if you have dedicated your life to the destruction of evil and have very little time left on this earth, marriage and children are not open paths for you. And yet, it happened, quite by accident. For who else can understand a Grey Warden except for another Warden?

My father and mother should not have loved each other. They defied convention and reason by doing so, but for them there was no other way to be. To marry him, my mother abandoned her ties to her race, for they would not have her marry a human. But, as she told me later, that did not mean much to her anymore, as long as she had him. Yet she spoke so sadly that I found it difficult to believe her.

She had not intended to become pregnant. Marriage was more than enough for both of them, more than they had expected. They could take their love and their bond with them wherever they traveled, even into battle. But a child, conceived entirely by chance, changed things for the both of them.

Though they had reclaimed the Warden's Keep during their time together, and thus had a residence of sorts, the order was not prepared to look after a child. And so my mother gave up even her status as a Warden until I was of an age to look after myself. My father stayed close to her when he could, but it was a difficult time in Ferelden, and he was called away time and time again.

My father...what I remember of him is his smile, his laughter. He had a way about him that made you feel as if something was about to be extremely funny, but only he knew what. He loved to pick me up and carry me around. He held my mother and me close to him. The feeling of being treasured is what I remember most about him, and it is worth more than any amount of gold in a king's coffers. He had never had a true family before us, and never expected to, I think. For him, each day with us was a blissful impossibility that had been made real.

He is gone, now. I miss him every day. Mother does not speak of him anymore, and so I know that her grief is too large. It is a stone that is too big remove and so sits inside her.

And so this is the tale of my mother. Sacrifice. Loss. Her family was ripped away from her. Her life was shortened, and what remained was dedicated to the Wardens. She gave up her heritage for the love of a human man. She gave up her life as a Warden for the child of the man, itself a human and complete denial of her elvish lineage. And now she fights against her last sacrifice, the Calling. Yet even this struggle is more that is not her own, for she does it for my sake. I watch her fade away from me day by day, and I cannot give her up even now.

But soon the day will come when she can stand it no more. She will allow destiny to drag her forward to the end that has been coming for twenty years. And on that day that I watch her go, I will then take the Taint into myself. I will join the Wardens as my mother did, as my father did, and pray to the Maker that my strength matches theirs.

For that is the honor and the sacrifice of the Grey Wardens.


End file.
